Living on Writer's Block

Do I trust my instincts?

This is the question I was asked in a daily prompt recently and it got me thinking. Do I? A better question, should I?

I believe the human will and mind is fallen. By extension, then, it’s not unlikely that human instinct is far different. Be that as it may, we do have instincts which I believe are at the very least commendable, if not altogether good. We have the instinct to protect. At least, many of us do; this partly comes from our situation in life.

Mothers, fathers have a sort of extra sense they develop once they become parents, that tells them when something’s wrong, that tells them right when to look up to see their child reaching for the hot stove. Parents aren’t the only ones with this ability, though. a prime example is September 11, 2001. So many firefighters and EMTs gave up their lives acting to save trapped victims; their jobs affected their mentality, and they acted accordingly.

Sometimes, however, our situation in life has little effect on our decisions. Plenty of men and women move instinctively to save someone from impending danger — the stranger stuck in front of the oncoming bus, the friend about to walk into a phone pole (or alternatively they let their friend walk into the pole, and laugh hysterically when their friend gets mad at them for not giving some sort of warning). There are stories in the news about ‘your average Joe’ jumping onto the river to save the drowning child. There are plenty of examples of people acting selflessly in times of strife.

So there certainly are commendable instincts; however, there are also instincts that are not so praiseworthy.

The human instinct to form ‘cliques,’ for example, is not entirely a good one. In fact, it’s not at all a good one; it promotes elitism, pride, and it makes people feel like they need to be a part of the ‘cool group’ to be worth anything, to be liked or appreciated.

But the question was not about ‘instincts’ in general; the question was about my instincts, and whether or not I trust them. I gave a basis for reasons as to why I should or should not trust them.

Let’s be real for a minute here though, drop the scientific analysis, the thesis-perfect talk. If I’m honest, my instincts are garbage. No lie, if I get startled, I jump — and scream. I don’t drop into a fighter’s crouch, I don’t throw a fist at what startled me, I don’t immediately go into fight mode. I scream. Like a girl. Which I don’t really mind that, since I am female, but when it’s really high-pitched I feel extremely stupid. My instincts have nothing in them of the fight, only the flight. When it comes to ‘gut feelings’, I’m always wrong. If I have a gut-feeling about a person, they always turn out to be the opposite type of person from what I thought. If I have a feeling about a situation, believing it’s going to go south, it never does; everything is fine, it remains fine, no one is hurt, nothing happens.

But yeah, I trust them; up until the last possible second, when I finally realize my instincts are lying to me, I trust them with my whole heart and I dread the calamity my gut is telling me is about to happen. Now I’ve got to go, I have a feeling someone’s messing with my stuff.

Cheers!